Fuck your past. Fuck mine. I cant look at dates from before I met you, without me punching the fuck out of trees in my back yard.YOU HAVENT DONE ANYTHING TO ME. MY FEELINGS ARE SO FUCKING STRONG FOR YOU AND LOOK AT THIS. You say I dont care when I do. I cant look at things I haven’t done with you, Before I shut down and let my mind wonder who you did that shit with. I cant do anything from before I met you, listen to certain songs anymore. I cant stand what you have had in the past. BECAUSE I KNOW IM NOTHING LIKE THEM AND YOU WERE HAPPIER WITH THEM. YOU WOULDNT BE PREGNANT! YOU WOULD HAVE FRIENDS YOU WOULD HAVE YOUR FUCKING LIFE BACK. zThe people you have had things with? I could go after them. And make them suffer for what they do to me everyday. But what would that do? Make me feel better but you? No. Because deep down Inside you still care for them, if not alot, alittle i know it… No. Just cant, don’t want to hurt you. I cant stand your gold fish. I just wanna just wanna kill myself whenever I see them. I can post this because its like your never on here. I miss you so much right now, even though we fight. The feelings ive had for you since day one are still there. those butterflies and that rush of excitement i get when in about to see you are still here. Even when we fight and you say your or i tell you to leave, truth is i dont want you to. When I tell you that shit, I want you to hold me. To tell me its okay. To tell me were alright, because inside i dont know what to do, so the only thing i can do is push you away.. And I dont want that.I dont want you to go.. Inside Im begging you to stay. To tell me you love me when were fighting. To give me a hug when im angry. To tell me its okay. I cant go on with out you. I need you more than you know, my love for you. We fight constantly and fighting with the one person you love and especially are having a baby with, and have this plan in your head to spend forever, and the feeling of that dissapearing because you cant work something out, or put insecuritys we have with eachother first before us as indeviduals hurts! Like I cant fucking explain. And another thing is my pain cant compete with your pain. So MY PAIN IS FUCKING WORTHLESS. Its still pain and it still hurts… But it doesnt even come close to what you feel… And I know inside your dying.. And faling apart slowly. So am I.. Just in a different way. Ive never cried over somebody as much as you before, or had excitement to get out of bed for someone. Or even had so much anger over something as simple as you having a thing with a guy before me. The shit I cant controle. Just thinking of you with somebody else makes me want to kill myself. … The fighting wont stop and im slowly losing hope. The funny thing is if somehow you get on and read this, or I tell you too.. Nothing will change. Maybe for a day… Because in the last 3 months we have had 6 good days. And like two was consistent. IM Slowly losing hope.. Slowly losing you. But i will be by your side tell I die. So dont worry about losing me. And dont say I dont care because i do.. Every goddamn day. I love you, So damn much.
I wish my girlfriend would get rid of her fish.